Still alive. Still can't speak Danish.

So for roughly the last 2 months, I have been a whirlwind of activity travelling the length and breadth of Denmark, throughout Russia, as well as shenanigans in London and Istanbul.

I promise I will get back to being a not-shit blogger and update here with all my recent escapades and felonies (nb. may or may not actually include felonies) within the next few weeks (with exams fast approaching, I think I will suddenly be much more motivated to remember my glorious gypsy days).

But for now, I leave you with an embarrassing anecdote from earlier this week.

I'm always impressed when I manage to decipher things in Danish, so when I found myself at a checkout at the supermarket scanning the magazine covers, I got a small thrill when I read "7 Days of Great Sex" amongst a sea of unintelligible stories.

The magazine was located between a Cosmopolitan and another bright cover featuring a heavily airbrushed and pouting presumably famous person, so I picked up the magazine and opened it to see if this was a Danish publication.

Turns out, it was porn.

Despite slamming that thing shut, I'm assured that the old man behind me got a good view of what I was reading. The old man who was most likely Danish, and was completely aware of the magazine that I so casually flicked open.

Moral of this story: don't open any magazine in a public location if you aren't 200% sure it isn't porn.

Copencaken

After 6 weeks of uni, I decided that I thoroughly deserved a cake-break. And if you want a cake-break in Copenhagen, the only place for it is La Glace - Denmark's oldest conditori and bakery.

La Glace was founded on 8 October, 1870 and has remained in its original location (Skoubogade 3) ever since. The interior has remained the same since 1924, and some of the furniture dates back to the opening date. The bakery has been owned and operated by Henningsen family over 6 successive generations. Long story short - these guys are really good at cake.

Walking into the bakery is a step back in time. An army of grandmothers in frilly aprons bustle behind the counter operating antique coffee machines and shelves groan under the weight of the cakes displayed. The menus are all in Danish, but realistically when you're going to a bakery that is still going strong after 100yrs, there is a built in limit as to how "wrong" you can go. I ended up with the H.C Andersen cake which was a diabetic-coma-inducing concoction of chocolate cake, chocolate mousse and chocolate+some-kind-of-citrus mousse. The cake was served with a hot chocolate that I'm not convinced wasn't just melted chocolate in a jug, with a generous cup of whipped cream on the side.

Our cakes. 

The H.C. Hat.
Which I can't recommend highly enough. 

Pancreas: 0.
La Glace: 1.

Copenparison

31 July, 2012

72 Days later...

Slotty Saturday

Fact: "Slot" means "palace" in Danish.

Fact: Saying "slot" does not get any less hilarious over time.

So a couple of weeks ago, we decided to get a bit regal and trekked out to Frederiksborg Slot, the oldest renaissance-style palace in Scandinavia.

The palace is in the middle of the city of Hillerød. More specifically, it is in the middle of the lake in the middle of Hillerød.

Hillerød

Most people look at a lake and think it's pretty.
Danish royals look at a lake and think "prime real estate".

The current palace is actually the second palace to stand in the lake - the first was built by Frederik II in 1560 but was decimated by a fire. The modern palace was constructed for King Christian IV. And then it was also destroyed by a fire in 1859. J.C Carlsberg then funded the reconstruction of the palace and established the The Danish Museum of National History within its walls. Because of the Museum, the palace has been restored to closely replicate the original interiors of the pre-1859 palace.

Prudish fountain.
Pretty much everywhere you go there are lots of nakey sculptures. This fountain stands out because it was so careful to make sure all the figures were covered. 

This is the view across the inner courtyard to the palace Chapel - one of the only parts of the castle that survived the 1859 fire. The Chapel is used to award the Order of the Elephant (Denmark's Highest Order - pretty much only awarded to royalty and Heads of State) and the Order of the Dannebrog since 1693.

Inside the Church

The passage to the King's private audience chamber 

Before there were swivel chairs there were hidden floor chairs. 

*wink*

A super-old bible in Danish. 

Zodiac roof.

It's a trap!

Inside the Grand Ballroom. 

Creepy gnome thing. 

As part of the Museum construction, each of the wings of the palace was been made to represent each of the styles that the palace would have been decorated in.
This is in the Rococo wing. 

While the palace itself is beautiful, what was truly spectacular about Frederiksborg were the baroque gardens. Construction (or cultivation?) began in 1720 following designs by J.C Kreiger. After a period of neglect, the gardens were fully restored in 1996. 

So we were wandering around the gardens when our tranquillity was ruined by hordes of people in bright colours doing a jogging tour. 

Who the fuck does a jogging tour????

Picnic lunch!