The Time I Accidentally Left Copenhagen City Limits (also, why leaving home without a phone, money or map is a bad idea)

A couple of weeks ago in a fit of madness, I decided to go for a run.

I have previously gone running and have never enjoyed the experience, but because I am an open minded individual I like to give running periodic opportunities to be a less shit and boring and painful as a form of exercise. Need I say that all my run has taught me is that running is a deeply devious and thoroughly awful activity which should be avoided at all costs.

So I set off from my home down towards a lovely pedestrian/cycle zone near my house. My intended route went something like this.

I expected it would take me about an hour.

3.5hrs later, I collapsed back onto my couch.

I would love to be able to chart on this map exactly where I went, but to be honest, I have no clue. I do, however remember various landmarks and streets that I passed. That map looks a little like this.

On another note, sure, I was a long way from my house. But not 15km. 

So around about 2hrs into my trek, knowing I was lost and actually considering committing a crime so that the police would pick me up and take me home, I saw my white knight on a red motorbike. The Danish Postal Service. Who better to send me off in the right direction?

Anyone, as it turns out. Anyone at all.

Firstly, despite living on literally, the main road in Copenhagen, the Postie hadn't heard of my street. When I started listing landmarks, his eyes widened, jaw dropped and he said "THERE? But that's in Copenhagen! That's over 15km away".

I started looking for a car I could vandalise.

My hero gave me vague directions to travel in "that direction" for 2 intersections and then turn right. Which I followed.

But then I passed a bus stop and noticed that I had actually just travelled AN ENTIRE BUS ZONE further away from the city.

After asking a few Danes (who incidentally, really struggle with their left and rights), I managed to get back into civilisation.

I blame running.