Monday, January 21, 2013

The Little Things


So I am outrageously behind with my blog, and haven't written about any of my adventures because... Well, I've been too busy having adventures to write about them. But I will, I promise, catch up by the end of 2013!

I've been in Boston for a little over a week now, and it has been absolute insanity. Denmark feels about a million miles and lifetimes away already. It has really gotten me thinking to all the little things about Denmark that didn't, and probably won't, really fit in with the posts I've been writing, and I'm terrified I'm going to forget them because these tiny, seemingly insignificant things pretty much defined my first semester abroad. So...

Bathrooms
Considering how many awards the Scandinavians have managed to pull for their design, the Danes have just completely missed the point of a bathroom. In my bathroom, and a fairly significant number of other bathrooms I inspected, there was no cubicle for the shower. The only thing that keeps water from covering the entire room is the shower curtain. And it is not adequate.  

Can Openers and Miscellaneous Kitchen Appliances
I'm not sure why, but Danes seem to have a great affinity with the Amish in that they just hate all modern appliances which could make life easier. And I mostly found this to be applicable in the kitchen. 
A knife?
Nope. Danish can opener. 
No pre-made food. 
I used to think that I was a good cook. And then I discovered that I actually can't make anything without relying on at least one pre-made ingredient. Things like a tin of soup, or a sachet of seasoning, or a bottle of sauce are heavily featured in all of my cooking, and completely absent in Denmark. Does this mean that I embarked on a quest of culinary self-improvement, and learnt to make things from scratch?

No. 
No way. 

Instead I spent an indecent amount of time rummaging around in the 5 supermarkets which were within walking distance of my house looking for their token "international section" (usually tacos) and panic buying every seasoning sachet I could lay my hands on. 

ps. Pre-made food includes self-raising flour. You can't imagine the look of disdain I got when I asked a Dane why they don't have this. 

Dairy Aisle
Until Denmark, I considered the dairy aisle to be as unthreatening as can be. In fact, as it is often the home to ice-cream which is pretty much the best thing that can ever come out of a grocery store, I rated dairy aisles as one my favourite aisles.
But when you like cooking as much as I do, it is pretty hard to go 4.5months without buying milk, cream, sour cream, thickened cream and cheese. And this is when my problems begin.
Because all dairy products in Denmark come in cartons. Yoghurt, Milk and Creme Fraiche (because sour cream isn't a thing there) all come in cartons that are pretty much identical. If you do manage to navigate the packaging dilemma, you need to have an encylopaedic knowledge of the fat content of all dairy products. Milk is not full-cream, low-fat,, no fat etc etc in Denmark. It is 0.5%, 1.5% and 3.5% fat. Similarly, cream can be 27% or 37% fat. How much fat is usually in butter?
Add the fact that all labels are in Danish into the mix and you can perhaps understand that it will be a long while before I can walk through a dairy aisle without having a Vietnam-style flashback.

Door Knobs
The bane of my existence. Door knobs in Denmark are gymnastics for your hands. You have to twist and hold the lock latch, and then you have to use the door handle to open the door. Sound simple? You're wrong. It is theoretically possible to do this with one hand, if your hand is like this guy's.
Credit: http://www.colourbox.com/preview/4661472-147404-cropped-image-of-a-casual-guy-with-big-foam-hand.jpg

For for us mere mortals with stumpy fingers, opening doors in Denmark is a two handed affair. "But Lucy, you are just whinging, it can't be all that bad". 

Wrong. 

Just think about how many times a week you walk out of the house carrying something that occupies one of your hands. Now you understand.